Telling family and friends

Telling your family and friends is both a daunting and exciting part of transition. As difficult as it might be, you will need to do this. In the early years, many men feel like like they do this over and over and over again.

Eric — Australia 2003
“Mum told dad and, astonishingly, he was the most accepting of all. He adapted to my name-change immediately. All he said was, ‘are you sure you’re doing the right thing? But I always remember him telling me when I was a child, ‘when you grow up you can do anything you want, nothing is impossible.’”

Mitch — Australia 2002
“I sat my parents down after consulting a Professor in Newcastle and told them what and why. They were relieved, shocked, happy (well… lots of emotions). I came out to my friends and they were supportive because I gave them a lot of info – educated them.”

Ashley — Australia 2003
“While they accepted the TS they didn’t really understand my need to transition since I already passed rather convincingly. The only thing I could think of to explain it in a way they would understand was to ask them when they had last seen me in just shorts and a t-shirt. When they thought this through they all came back saying, hey you know what, we’ve never seen that. In fact they have never seen me in less than two t-shirts & a baggy jacket, affectionately referred to as my security blanket.

Ahh how everyone will be glad when the security blanket is no longer needed, coz I never leave home without it. I’m more likely to forget to put my shoes on than forget my jacket when I step out my front door. Giving them examples like this, they seemed to somewhat understand my position and why I wanted surgery.

Telling my partner of my TS was hard, I thought well if she really knows me and has really listened to what I have said in the past, she should have some idea. After we spoke about it and she had some time to think, she had to admit that some part of her always knew. So to me there was already some level of acceptance before I told her anyway. This made things a bit easier.”

Cameron — Australia 2002
“I believe that when one transitions it is more about a transitioning of public genders than anything else. Transitioning is about the rest of the world realising the truth of who I am and the recognition that comes with this. I have always known myself to be nothing but male despite the fact that a medical professional pronounced to my parents that I was a girl, based on a glance at my genitalia.

I completed my transition many years ago now. Whether to complete public transition or not was never an issue for me. It was a matter of how and when. I have no doubt that I would not have been able to continue my life living the lie that I was forced to for so many years, the life of a man with a body not in harmony with my biological core, that is my brain.

I found that the biggest advantage I had throughout my period of transition (other than my wife) was my honesty and openness to educate the people around me. Many people commented about the fact that I was open, honest and unashamed of myself, which meant that they were given the opportunity to educate themselves. This made them more at ease with my condition and not threatened by it.

I now have a life and a very rewarding one at that. I have never regretted facing my predicament and doing something about it. You are the controller of your own destiny; draw on your own courage and wisdom to change your life. Only you are the one with the ability to do so. Believe in your inner self. The journey may not always be smooth (I know mine was not) but it is well worth it.